Dear Fear…

macbeth

Thank you for all the ways you’ve protected me.

Thank you for warning me of those times I was being taken for a fool, or being seen as weak.

Thank you for keeping me realistic about how much my friends and family really love me.

Thank you for advising me against reaching out, you’re right, nobody would have cared.

Without you I wouldn’t have known that I had to perform to be liked. I had no clue I wasn’t enough.

How did I not see that I wasn’t tall or handsome enough to deserve fidelity or loyalty?

I would have never realised I wasn’t straight enough to deserve respect and friendship.

You taught me all these things, and for a while I was grateful. Grateful to have you around to make sure I wasn’t making mistakes.

But, you see. I wonder.

I wonder if my problems came from you, and not the outside world.

I wonder if I was reacting to your whispers and not the facts.

I wonder who I’d be if I hadn’t have met you.

So I think maybe we should take a break, couple weeks, nothing major.

Just see who we are when we’re not together, y’know.

Because we go way back, but I’m not sure we should be going forward.

All the best,

Me

Advertisements